Wednesday, February 6, 2008

A Sweet Moment

Subtitle: Maybe Boys Can Be Taught!


Sunday morning, I went into the bedroom to wake J up (our morning routine), and I ended up crawling under the covers to snuggle with him for a minute. I had spent Saturday at my friend T’s house, helping her with the new baby. (Yes, blatant excuse to cuddle new baby––any new baby will do––but she was grateful, as she hadn’t washed her hair in a week. Careful what you wish for, right? Wrong. I still wish. I wish hard.)

So J asked me how yesterday had gone and I said it was great, but that I still ached inside. “I just wish infertility didn’t hurt so much,” I said.

“I know,” he murmured softly, and then he added the magic words, “me too.”

I wonder if he knows how much that “me too” meant to me? For that moment, it was us against the world again, and I felt less empty on the inside, less alone.

I think maybe, in all of my ranting at him, some of it has gotten through. I think it was deliberate—he gave me a little, just a little, to let me know we were in this together. Anyway, it was nice.


8 comments:

luna said...

a sincere "me too" can go a really long way. my hub reminds me that he's been there every step, and he has, but I know how differently this affects us and sometimes I think no you haven't exactly. but the sentiment is real and it can make you feel like you're in it together which helps a bit...

Malloryn said...

That was a sweet thing to say. Sometimes I feel like I'm alone in wanting a baby as badly as I do. Sure, D wants to be a father but I don't think it gnaws at him in the way it does for me. It's so nice to get that reassurance, even if it's just a few words :)

kate said...

Ah, the power of two little words. I do think that even if it does affect our partners, they just don't feel it quite as deeply as we do. They're just not as connected to the process, 'cos they're not the ones growing babies inside themselves. At least that's my theory.

I, too, wonder sometimes whether or not men really get the power of their words. And if they did, I wonder how often they would say those, "me, too." kinds of things.
My husband is extrodinarily sensitive, but he still has a hard time applying that to other people. I have to point out to him pretty often that if something hurts his feelings that likely, it will hurt someone else's feelings, too.

Ah, men. It's like the Muppets song from The Muppet Movie- "Can't live with 'em, you can't live without 'em/ There's something irresitable-ish about 'em/ We grin and bear it 'cos the nights are long/ I hope that something better comes along." HAH!

shinejil said...

Hooray! It means so much to know you've been heard. I'm so glad you had that "me, too" moment.

Ally said...

Isn't it amazing how just a few simple words can make all the difference in the world? I'm glad you heard what you needed when you needed it!

shinejil said...

Babychaser, not sure if you're into this kind of silliness, but I'd like to tag you. See my post "I'm it!" for the simple rules.

kcmarie122 said...

That is so nice! I'm so glad! He gives me hope that soon my DH will start proving he's learning too! Ha Ha!

Thanks for your comment on my blog. That was interesting what you said about the spotting. My old OB/GYN told me it was no big deal (grrr) but I really think it was a sign of a problem! Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone! At least the Clomid and Prog. will help the next few months.

Also, thanks for your comments about not focusing on "the end." You are so right! I didn't think about it that way. So thanks because now I'm going to really start trying to focus on "the now" instead!

Emily said...

how wonderful and sweet of your hubby. And even though we know how much they love and care for us, just hearing that confirmation that they're on the same page as we are is wonderful. Now I want to climb back into bed and snuggle with hubby ...