Monday, June 29, 2009

The Rat-Bastard HMO Giveth; the Rat-Bastard HMO Taketh Away

You know how there’s never a bank error in your favor? Not so for the HMOs! On Friday, J informed me that he had spent $240 out of my account, and that it was going to make me very happy. Couldn’t really imagine what he had bought me (with my money, not that matters, but you know what I mean). He kept asking me to guess. I hate that game.

And then he told me.

$240 just bought my ENTIRE DRUG PURCHASE for this cycle. A drug purchase that was supposed to cost almost $2,400.

Let’s savor this moment, shall we?

My asshole, shitbag, rat-bastard HMO—the same HMO that refused to cover J’s health-threatening hormone deficiency just because we’re trying to get pregnant and I’ve used up my IVF coverage, the same HMO that denied me coverage for a water sono to follow up on my fibroid surgery just because I’ve used up my IVF coverage, the same HMO that guarantees a three-day turnaround on preauths but always requests “additional information” several times until I am forced to pay out of pocket or cancel a cycle—just accidentally covered my hideously expensive drug purchase.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

We all know that one of the reasons the HMOs suck so hard is that they have no incentive to be competent. Incompetence makes them money, because you eventually get so insane with it that you agree to pay out of pocket just to avoid one more hour-long phone call where you’re told exactly the opposite of the phone call before.

But I guess incompetence occasionally cuts the wrong way. Heh heh heh.

I feel so smug. I feel so vindicated. I feel so frustrated that I didn’t order twice as much.

I’ve been waiting to post this until the drugs are in our hot little hands.

10 comments:

Kate said...

Sweet!

Newt said...

Hooray! I hope the good luck just keeps on rolling.

Ally said...

I love it. LOVE IT! Suck on that, you ratbastards!

Kim said...

Ha! Suck on that you HMO pieces of shit! Way to get on in on them for a change. Best of luck with this cycle.

Astrid said...

I am HATING my health care plan right now - more to do with the incentives of dr's to have you come in to an appointment than talk to you on the phone, but I love every opportunity to stick a thumb in the eye of the whole institution. Thanks for getting one in for the rest of us. !!

Io said...

Heh heh! Stick it to 'em! I just gave up on my old insurance and paid my own doctor's bill last time I went because of all the damn forms they gave me.

annacyclopedia said...

Oh, hell yes! I am beyond happy for you - there is no better feeling than sticking it to the shitbag rat-bastards of the world.

Rambler said...

LOL. Gotta love it! Insurance compainies and their take on what counts as infertility coverage is a joke.

Shinejil said...

Ha ha ha! I'm so savoring this with you.

Mrs. Hammer said...

Thanks for the comment and the well wishes. I hope your cycle goes well too!