Beta came in at 36. Not small enough to be considered a "negative," but not high enough to give me any measure of relief. My nurse says that women certainly start out with this kind of number and then it goes up and they have babies, but . . . .
And that's just it. She knows as well as I do that my track record isn't good here. Maybe this is a living pregnancy, maybe it's doomed. No way to know.
And so we wait until Friday. If it does't double, especially given my history, it's pretty much over.
This is just awful. You know that moment you wait for, the moment when you learn you're pregnant, and you get that warm rush, that giddy feeling, when you feel like you could shout the words "I'm pregnant!" from the rooftops? Yet another thing I've been robbed of.
Thanks for all the nice comments. If anyone has some good stories about low betas, feel free to share. Or just make them up. Anything to get me through the next two days.