Friday, August 15, 2008

Party of Five

So me and my four embryos have been on bed rest yesterday and today. That’s right, FOUR embryos. You know your doctor is desperate when she suggests that you put back four, and you know that you are desperate when you say that’s exactly what you were thinking.

Am I worried about triplets or quads? Frankly, not a bit. I’m worried about a big fucking negative, or (even more likely, in my opinion) another very early miscarriage. We seem to have no problem producing embryos and blasts, but they tend to crap out during the 2ww, or soon thereafter. So, given my history, I’ll be lucky if more than one of them makes it past blast, and if any of them actually develop.

That being said, I’m glad they’re inside now. Part of me wonders (the loopy mystical part of me that seems to be popping up more and more lately) if my embryos will be more likely to develop inside me than in a petrie dish. You know, maybe they’ll just be happier with an honest-to-god uterus surrounding them and the sound of my hearbeat nearby.

Sigh. See what this process is doing to me?

Ah well, on to the 2ww. May it be a less crazy one than usual. (But don’t hold your breath.)

21 comments:

annacyclopedia said...

Hey, you know I'm all about the loopy and mystical, so I'm positive that your little quartet are happier in your ute than in some dish. I hope the wait is blissful and easy and you don't miscarry and you end up with exactly the number of babies you want. And I am holding my breath, just a little.

Thinking of you and of course you are in my thoughts and prayers like always but a little extra over the next few weeks.

Sue said...

You plus four definitely sounds like a party. I hope some of your guests decide to stick around. I'll be thinking of you during your 2ww.

Shinejil said...

Hey, your idea about the ute being the favorite embie pad makes absolute sense.

But then again, I'm 2wwing myself at the moment, so you may not want to take my word for it.

Here's to the fastest damn two weeks ever and a successful nine-month stay for one of your fab four.

Shinejil said...

I mean, unless twins would be cool. Then two.

I told you: I'm in the 2 week wacky.

luna said...

hoping one of them sticks!

Lisa said...

I hear you. I've had 4 put back and two separate doctors have said that, if I had 5 or 6, they would put all of them back in.

Wishing you lots of luck!!

Joonie said...

4? I guess it's as lucky of a number as any. I really hope this ones the one (or two) for you.

g said...

Hopeing your 2WW goes quick! and you get your BFP very soon!!

Ms. J said...

Maybe I am in the minority but every woman I know personally who went on to a bona fide baby - via IVF - did a 3 day transfer. So don't be weirded out by that!

I am thinking about you - and now that crowded uterus - lots!!!

peesticksandstones said...

My goodness... I will definitely be thinking of you these next couple of weeks.

I'm in a similar situation -- I seem to be capable of making magic embryos, but something funky goes down when they get put inside me. Yet it's not obvious why. The guilt/confusion this leaves me with it too huge to comprehend.

This next cycle, I harbor secret fantasies of running away to some monastery with zen chants and letting them hang me upside down, motionless so I can finally prove to the world I'm doing all I can to get pregnant For Real This Time.

Ugh, I hate this. Every bit of it.

Thanks, by the way, for your incredibly fantastic comment on my blog the other day. You rock -- and you'll be a rocking momma, lady!

Rebeccah said...

All the best people transfer four embryos! And if I were an embryo, I'd much rather be in a nice cozy uterus -- in fact, I've often wondered whether ours would have done better at a 3-day transfer for exactly that reason. Wishing you a stress-free and lucky 2ww!

Ms Heathen said...

My clinic only does three day transfers - the thinking being that they are indeed more likely to thrive in a real live uterus than in a petrie dish.

I'm sending all good thoughts to the fab four, and will hope against hope that a couple of them decide to settle in for a good long stay.

Wishing you a stress-free and speedy 2ww!

Io said...

Hopefully your embies just wanted to be with you all this time and they will be happier in your uterus.
I will be holding my breath quietly over here.

Alexandra said...

Oh wow, you are uber-PUPO! Enjoy it.

Ms. J said...

Been thinking of you every time I go to Target to buy something, and return, and buy some more (and I think you know why, hee hee).

Seriously, you are on my mind LOTS.

Barb said...

Sending lots of strength your way.

Ally said...

I am sincerely hoping your four little embies are hanging out and having a good party in your welcoming uterus, my dear. May they stick and flourish! Best of luck as you wait.

beautycourage said...

Thinking of you...

Malloryn said...

I'm thinking about you during your 2WW. I think it would make sense that they'd be happier hanging out in an honest-to-goodness uterus. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed and hope that your wait passes quickly.

I Believe in Miracles said...

I hope you have a stress free, wonderful 2ww... with a BFP in the end.

Adrian n Tashida said...

GL! I'm interested in knowing how your cycle turns out. I just transferred a Fresh Morula, a fresh Pre-Morula, and 2 Frozen Blast. Any other doctor whould be shocked about that if they knew my age, but this is number um.....

But anyway....good luck!